This is exactly how my morning started only two days ago after a night of disrupted sleep.
Me (walking into the dining room, staring fiercely at my children and with a raised voice): I didn't sleep well last night so I don't have a lot of patience. I need you to cooperate this morning.
Buddy scrambled to his chair at the dining table to begin eating his breakfast. Little Guy decided to ignore me. I let him know that I'm in this mood thanks to him since he was the one who disrupted my sleep last night. He still didn't move. I resorted to picking him up and placing him into his chair to begin breakfast. Not my best morning performance!
On the way to school, I felt terrible and apologized to Buddy and Little Guy about the way I spoke. However, I reiterated the importance of sleep and its effect on our moods (as demonstrated by me earlier). About one traffic light later, I found myself thinking about how cute they are and smiled. This act lifted my mood almost immediately! So, it is true - those feel-good, self-help, mindfulness articles are right.
Fast forward to last night. Again, Little Guy woke me at some insane hour. My eyes were so glazed over, I couldn't clearly make out the exact location of the hour and minute hands on the clock as I brought Little Guy back into the bedroom he shares with Buddy. It was worse than the incident two nights ago because his crying and fussing woke up Buddy. Now, I had to get both Buddy and Little Guy back to sleep. Long story short, I must have stayed in their bedroom for a good 2 hours before I woke and dragged my tired body back into my bed.
I woke up this morning with an achy body and a fogging head - not a great combination to start a day with demanding little ones. I fully expected myself to give the exact same speech as I did two mornings ago. Instead, I headed for my children, who were goofing off in their 'house' (it's one of those colorful enclosed play pen gates, which Buddy and Little Guy refuse to give up), and the following unfolded.
Me (both hands firmly gripping the top of one gate and in pretend angry voice): I am very frustrated that I didn't sleep well last night! Beeeecause someone here woke me up again last night.
Buddy (a little unsure of what's coming): It was Little Guy!
Little Guy just looked up at me with those 'it was me but don't be angry' eyes. I saw the corners of his lips move upward. Aha! Of course! He was going to smirk.
Me (smile breaking out on my face, still pretend angry voice): Well, I will not have a lot of patience this morning because I didn't sleep well. Rrrrrr (my eyes narrowed and my head pounced toward Little Guy)!
At my lion's roar, all three of us broke up into silly giggles.
Just like that, my anger and frustration dissipated and my mood lifted.
The interesting thing is I had been using the 'smile' technique at the start of the year and it was working fabulously. Whenever I was short of patience with Buddy, I would say whatever I had to say with a smile. The act alone made me calm and seemed to refuel my patience and compassion, even when the smile starts off as forced, an attempt to hid my impatience. I guess, at some point, I got busy, as we all do, and forgot to keep practicing.
As with any habit, it takes time and diligent practice. Perhaps I will give myself a 30-day challenge (which seem so popular these days) to smile first when I feel those hot emotions bubble up inside.
No comments:
Post a Comment